Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
