dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
i think i just lost a toe
Randomize
