I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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