just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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