did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
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