I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Randomize
