What a fucking waste of an outfit
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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