I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
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