Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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