I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Randomize