remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Randomize
