biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Couch. On fire.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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