how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
