and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
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