Nicole vs. Life
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
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