I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize