Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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