and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
