Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
