Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Randomize
