Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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