There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
I didn't notice because vodka
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Randomize
