just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
