she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
