nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
