So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
