You're my little dorito
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
