It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
