why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Randomize
