Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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