Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Randomize