She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
He literally asked permission to hit on me
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
