I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
