what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
