if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I'm getting married
To pizza
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
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