Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize