Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Randomize
