We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
