i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize
