She said her name was "party"
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
