but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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