i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
