I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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