so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
