.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Randomize
