i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
