Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Randomize
