Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Randomize
