I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
