guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
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