its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Randomize
