he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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