my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
