She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Randomize