i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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