we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
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