I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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