I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
