last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
Randomize
