They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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