The maid of honor just puked.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
